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Person of the Year: Mitt Romney
Yes, Mitt Romney is my choice for the person who best typified the year that was. Why, you ask? In one word, 2012.
Okay, first thing's first: if you were a Romney supporter, then we fundamentally disagree on at least one thing, but don't click away; I promise, I'm not going to be hurling verbal feces at him.
Romney and the Mayan 2012 prediction go hand in hand. For one thing, had Romney been elected, for some, it would have been the end of the world. Myself, I made a promise that I wouldn't enter the States while Romney was president. I'm not saying that Romney in the Whitehouse would have literally been the apocalypse, but I do think that the narratives surrounding the two are analogous.
Let's take the Mayan prediction to begin with. Speaking retrospectively, we know that there was nothing to get worked up about, but it had been a while since Y2K, and we had just gone far too long without thinking the world would end. So when it was noted that the Mayans' calendar stopped after December 21st, 2012, we naturally worked ourselves into a frenzy - not excessive hyperbole - that the world would in fact end. In what manner this would happen was never really committed to; there was the Planet X theory, which posited that a planet was going to sneak up on the Earth and ram into it, like in the picture above. Given that no telescopes had ever caught a glimpse of the supposed death-planet, I'm assuming that Planet X's plan was to yell "What's that over there?!", and while all the astronomers turned away, it would make it's move. Thus far, no signs of Planet X, although that's not altogether surprising given that it was basically started by a woman named Nancy Lieder, who had made the same prediction about May 2003 - because aliens told her in her head. The article I linked is kind enough not to mention her by name - or the aliens for that matter - but I'm not.
It was also put forward that the Mayan prophecy foretold of the rapture; which is ridiculous because the Mayans were not Christian.
I'm sure there were more theories as to the 'how' of the apocalypse, but they all neglect that for any of these theories to be considered plausible, it must first be accepted as fact that the Mayans were prophetic wizards.
Seriously, every scholar on Earth was rationally explaining why the world wasn't going to end, and we decided to err on the side of caution and be afraid of an ancient people who got bored of writing out the calendar a couple millennia in advance. At least Y2K had the uncertainty about what our technology could do going for it.
Where does Mitt Romney enter the equation? Right here, because I'm going to start talking about him now. Side note: I really nailed that segue. There was almost no chance of Mitt Romney winning the election. Dan O'Brien of Cracked (yeah, this week on my blog is all about drawing from Cracked) points out that Romney was basically chosen to represent the GOP so that their more prolific politicians could have a chance in 2016. Given that the incumbent has only ever lost 10 times, Romney was pretty much just a placeholder. But it would be boring for the media to run that story for a year, and so a narrative identical to the 2012 end-of-the-world was created. Mitt Romney is my person of 2012, because he and the Mayans' prophecy have identical narratives.
 |
| That is, the apocalypse. |
Okay, first thing's first: if you were a Romney supporter, then we fundamentally disagree on at least one thing, but don't click away; I promise, I'm not going to be hurling verbal feces at him.
Romney and the Mayan 2012 prediction go hand in hand. For one thing, had Romney been elected, for some, it would have been the end of the world. Myself, I made a promise that I wouldn't enter the States while Romney was president. I'm not saying that Romney in the Whitehouse would have literally been the apocalypse, but I do think that the narratives surrounding the two are analogous.
Let's take the Mayan prediction to begin with. Speaking retrospectively, we know that there was nothing to get worked up about, but it had been a while since Y2K, and we had just gone far too long without thinking the world would end. So when it was noted that the Mayans' calendar stopped after December 21st, 2012, we naturally worked ourselves into a frenzy - not excessive hyperbole - that the world would in fact end. In what manner this would happen was never really committed to; there was the Planet X theory, which posited that a planet was going to sneak up on the Earth and ram into it, like in the picture above. Given that no telescopes had ever caught a glimpse of the supposed death-planet, I'm assuming that Planet X's plan was to yell "What's that over there?!", and while all the astronomers turned away, it would make it's move. Thus far, no signs of Planet X, although that's not altogether surprising given that it was basically started by a woman named Nancy Lieder, who had made the same prediction about May 2003 - because aliens told her in her head. The article I linked is kind enough not to mention her by name - or the aliens for that matter - but I'm not.
It was also put forward that the Mayan prophecy foretold of the rapture; which is ridiculous because the Mayans were not Christian.
I'm sure there were more theories as to the 'how' of the apocalypse, but they all neglect that for any of these theories to be considered plausible, it must first be accepted as fact that the Mayans were prophetic wizards.
 |
| Anthropologists' best guess as to what the Mayans looked like. There is much debate over whether they would have worn purple, or periwinkle. You can see where I stand in this heated issue. |
Seriously, every scholar on Earth was rationally explaining why the world wasn't going to end, and we decided to err on the side of caution and be afraid of an ancient people who got bored of writing out the calendar a couple millennia in advance. At least Y2K had the uncertainty about what our technology could do going for it.
Where does Mitt Romney enter the equation? Right here, because I'm going to start talking about him now. Side note: I really nailed that segue. There was almost no chance of Mitt Romney winning the election. Dan O'Brien of Cracked (yeah, this week on my blog is all about drawing from Cracked) points out that Romney was basically chosen to represent the GOP so that their more prolific politicians could have a chance in 2016. Given that the incumbent has only ever lost 10 times, Romney was pretty much just a placeholder. But it would be boring for the media to run that story for a year, and so a narrative identical to the 2012 end-of-the-world was created. Mitt Romney is my person of 2012, because he and the Mayans' prophecy have identical narratives.
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